.

12. November. 2009
1.59 a.m

I have been crawling over life these past few months (days, perhaps?)
in a remorseful way figuring out the path I have taken
before well-decorated by darkened and jovial colors, whether or not
I have been struggling enough to remain being me.
I might have forced myself (intentionally) to be enduring such slight
changes I bet but that is the general rule in life to be
wrestling in a losing fight over this harsh reality.
"This isn't an experimental game", I once thought about how demented
life could be which mercilessly taught you the meaning of cruelty
and yes, brutality. Then, you start relating every now and then
things into "10 things I regret the most in my life".
Not helping at all to depict a gist of repentance.

This life has made life itself terribly easier. We have been sacrificing a lot to
compensate for what went wrong. And again, not working.
When I mentioned 'a lot' means too many. Amen to that.
At least its a portrayal of being appreciative towards our own lives.
Yes, I have been shelling out much time for this
analysis of mine to be detailed. But still, unsure of certain
decisions made. I wonder, I may have forgotten, did I make
any decisions for something to occur?. See, If only I could travel
back through the time and revisit my yesterday, then I might be able
to provide you such answers. Haha.

Being a grown-up has never been any easier.
Thinking and philosophizing about the meaning of life
have been sneaking out into our veins, flowing in our blood
circulation system. So does life. It flows continuously
without any accurate destination to reach at.
In the midst of you weighing something to decide,
this life may have flown so fast and left you behind.

It was considered yesterday already.
You have not made any decisions.
You had a choice, but you abused such privileges.
Simply because, tomorrow cannot wait any longer to come.

Does everyone really care why Miley quitted on her Twitter acc?
No, I don't, at least. This is what we call a publicity stunt.
A cheap one. Remember an old and lame saying,
"Princesses don't quit". She is not a princess afterall. Enough said.

Oh ya, my semester hiatus has just officially started and this
implies another hidden meaning, yes my arrival at home.
Sometimes I don't particularly have an unstoppable excitement of
going back. But I really adore having a morning nature walk where
shards of sunlight stabbed through the blinds and the heat of sun crashing
and pelting my face with a warmth in a natural greenly landscape.
Then, a coffee stop in a nearby stall grabbing the most inexpensive
refreshments and this is a place where so many people
willingly trap themselves into each day. And I miss this too.
Sometimes, we are tired of witnessing a river of traffic flowing
infinitely and a sound of annoying honks alternately,
that is why I regard this as a sweet excape. Haha.

These past few weeks, the battle of TV series has been charting a hike
on every pseudo-TV addicts’ newest craze lists. My picks are of course,
The Vampire Diaries and Glee. These are of different sorts of series.
I am not a huge fan of ‘Twilight’ kind of thing, but The Vampire Diaries
offers me more than a lame vampires’ romance but
an adventurous exploration in Mystic Falls. A worthy one to be added
to the list. Unlike The Vampire Diaries, Glee is one of a kind.
This musical-based TV series is undeniably entertaining with its
Selection of songs performed by its casts.

These routines are of old habits of mine esp within this period
Of hiatus. Oh ya, some of my batch are now doing their internship.
I couldn’t be attached yet due to some reasonable grounds.
Welcome to the working environments where an abundant of
Undone legal files to be your best friend. One word, cool.
The upcoming semester would be an awesome one,
I predict. Haha.

I totally suck big arse when it pertains to the current news since
reading papers is not even an option for me, but this international
growing rift between this Indonesia and Malaysia captivates my
attention. I mean, come on! There are so many things should be
focused at instead of those copycat thingy. In fact,
we have been originated from the same root and you are claiming
this and that as yours. We, Malaysians, have never expressly claimed
this and that as ours as far as I am concerned, but since
the practice and those traditional routines and songs have
been lingering within the domain of our customs,
so what should we regard that as?
Its considered as “the inheritance of local customs”. None
of our interests to “maling” or whatever-you-call-it-as,
these traditional practices. Or should we invent new ones
then only we can possess ones? Its bulls!

I mean, this is an absurd conflict and should be placed at the
lowest rank of our worries. Wake up.

The scariest and uninvinted week has finally knocked!
The door seems to remain being closed! Haha.
At least, for me. Heeeee.
Best of Luck everyone! :)

If you have been around the blog these past few weeks(months),
you'll notice some notable things :

a) that the blog has not been filled up with newest entries as it used
to be, and,

b) that even it is updated, the entries are either too long or too
short due to the severity of someone's laziness.

See, how time flies. Welcome back, September. Don't ask me why
this sudden urge comes to keep this not-so-well-known blog updated.
Life has been at its mediocre phase when it comes to my poor
time management skills which cause such horrific/stressful/unpleasant
moments filled up my days. Its a fasting month, by the way.
There is a long queue of tests, assignments, presentations,
assessments, and so forth which are not very good for my health.
In need of organic foods,then.
Aku-tau-aku-tengah-tingtong-merepek-ntahapentah.

I am not sure what are your thoughts of this September, but for me,
it is nothing but wacky, which is not to say I dislike this September, nor
do I cherish it more than other months, but it is just wacky and peculiar.
Its wackiness and peculiarity are not explainable for I reasoned, that
it must be some freakish stroke of a strange fate of thread within the
cosmos. (its a random thought, beware.)

September is the month where you will find out
whether or not your Year's Resolutions will
achieve its purpose, quite simply because the year will soon end,
and September is the final stretch of the race;
the last lap before the grand finish, so to speak. By now,
one should be able to estimate as to
whether or not one is able to properly
accomplish the Year's Resolutions,
should one decide to have, nine months earlier.

September is also when you will find yourself
feeling your most abysmal; emotionally and fundamentally.
It gnaws into your very core, creeps into you like a thief in the night.
It leaves you feeling helpless and drained and useless,
at least until next month. All of those unwanted tests, assignments,
are on duty to stress you out emotionally and you're no longer
free to enjoy your night life, and this is 'fundamentally'. Hehe.
But wait, this year's september,
we'll be celebrating Hari Raya.
Not that wacky lah, afterall. ;)

Oh crap, also the final examination this semester!
and yes, another wacky september reigns.
I am at my greatest capability to be jovial and less emotional.

Pertandingan Akhir Debat Alam Sekitar antara IPT 2009

Kerajaan : Multimedia University V Pembangkang : Universiti Putra malaysia

Johan : Universiti Putra Malaysia

Naib Johan : Multimedia University

Pendebat Terbaik : Amiruddin Abd Rahman (UPM)

Pertandingan Akhir Debat Kemerdekaan antara IPT dan IPG 2009

Kerajaan : Multimedia University V Pembangkang : Universiti Teknologi Petronas

Johan : Universiti Teknologi Petronas

Naib Johan : Multimedia University

Pendebat Terbaik : Myer Iyemman Bin Yusof (MMU)



Rezeki hanya untuk pergi ke pentas perdana bukan untuk menyambut gamitan
menara impian dengan gelaran juara.
Semoga satu hari nanti, rezeki itu akan singgah.
Amin. Jutaan terima kasih buat semua.
Kepada Abg Dolah, Abg Din, HEP, Teammates, Seniors, Juniors and all,
jasamu dikenang!

Lama tidak menulis.
Mungkin sibuk dengan urusan2 yang memerlukan
sepenuh komitmen dan fokus mutlak.
Dua edisi debat berturut2 telah selesai dilangsungkan.
Penat berdebat bukan penat biasa. Sampai demam2.
Muscle pain usah cakap. Neuron2 otak dan segala macam organ
dan unit2 kecil otak seakan berlanggar antara satu sama lain.
Akhirnya, penat dan sakit menjengah segenap anggota badan.
Bahana debat. Fuh.

Penganjuran Debat Perpaduan adalah personally, the best so far.
Setiap inci dan aspek penganjuran begitu memuaskan.
Bab makanan terutamanya. Ohya, juga ketika berlibur di Kg Budaya.
Semua bergembira walaupun hakikatnya ada yang baru tumpas
ketika semi final. Sehingga terlupa pahit tentang kekalahan.
Seronok memerhatikan keakraban pendebat tanpa mengira
latar belakang etnik dan walaupun dari IPT yang berbeza
mengharmonikan dunia debat tanpa ada sengketa.


Dalam dua temasya debat yang berbeza, aku hanya sempat
mewakili pasukan ketika Debat Perpaduan. Alhamdulillah, berkat tunjuk
ajar beberapa orang penting, semuanya membuahkan hasil.
Walaupun harapan untuk beraksi di pentas perdana tidak
berjaya direalisasikan, aku masih percaya perihal rezeki yang mungkin
belum singgah. Mungkin satu hari nanti, insyallah.
Dalam debat, aku selalu menekankan satu perkara, jangan ada
sindrom 'tidak boleh menerima kekalahan'.
Ada beberapa keadaan, disebabkan kekalahanlah laluan untuk pergi
ke pusingan seterusnya cerah. Disebabkan kekalahanlah, ruang
untuk memperbaiki diri kita sedari. Sebab itulah, kekalahan juga
punya kuasa tersendiri.

Buat rakan2 sepasukan, 'ucapan terima kasih' pun aku rasakan
tidak cukup untuk menggambarkan penghargaan aku.
Its been a very rare privillege of having such an oppurtunity teaming up with you guys. Antara edisi debat yang sangat
memuaskan aku. Lihat, pengorbanan itu penting untuk melangkah
setapak kehadapan. Terpaksa mengorbankan cuti ketika baru habis
bergelut dengan siri peperiksaan akhir, berjaga dari pagi ke malam
untuk memahamkan isu, ditegur oleh jurulatih dan pengorbanan
wang ringgit misalnya membeli Baju Seragam
dan Kasut But Jimmy Choo. Haha. It paid off BIG TIME.

Tahniah untuk Naz for the personal achievement. Keep doing your thing,
as Meg said. Haha. To Dheepan, you are a trully great teammate.
*Standing Ovation*

Untuk pasukan Fomca, tahniah. Mungkin rezeki ditangguhkan.
Bukan untuk edisi Fomca kali ini. Tapi percayalah, semua kelemahan2
fundamental atau asas, perlu diperbaiki. Dalam keadaan pengalaman
berdebat sebelum2 ini, kelemahan2 dari segi pemilihan kata,
voice projection, delivery skills, fluency semua tuh sepatutnya
sudah tidak berlaku lagi. Latih dan asah diri untuk mendengar
dan menerima teguran. Nasihat dan kritikan yang diberikan
menggambarkan keprihatinan terhadap permasalahan anda.
Ingat, bukan senang orang lain nak berkongsi ilmu, nasihat semua.
Hargai dan hormati orang lain.

Anda yang menentukan perjalanan
dan peningkatan kualiti debat anda sendiri. Sama2 fikirkan.
Apapun, thank you semua yang terlibat, Abd Dollah, Abg Din, Miss
Asmida, researchers, STAD dan lain2.

Sehingga senja tadi, merewang di kawasan Kota Sukan was

probably the horrible process of detoxifying my inner peace
and it was blatantly unpleasant. Orang berjogging sana sini, hirup udara
pun ramai jugak. Ya, ketenangan. Lebih2 lagi kalau hidup
makin sempit dihimpit pelbagai komitmen dan tanggungjawab
yang harus dilunaskan and yes, its gonna be helpful.
Tapi tadi sangat meriah dengan pekikan dan gelak tawa yang
"Oh-sama-sekali-tidak-sesuai-buat-halwa-telingaku".

Hidup sudah mcm tidak punya masa yang cukup.
Angkara ragam diri sendiri jugak. kot.

See,

3.35 a.m - I was trying to sleep.

4.35 a.m- I was listening to Lenka's and Soko's songs. Still awake.
Now, its 5.10 a.m- ...and I think I need you.

I am android with a delayed reaction and trying my
hardest to emote. I have so many things to blurt out,
but in a harrowing order, the wave washes over.

An angst and its temperamental ride.
"I glimpse into a blank space, a darkened one, meditating
whether you are safe or not. The distance renders me immobilized.
The uncertainty collapses every ounce of sanity I have left.
This life cuts one short and crumbles the rock beneath."